i'm starting to get really happy about having a baby. in the sight of god and everybody, i blubbered and blathered about the bad time i had during the first four months. and it was bad. i do not recant. but now that my viscera and inner madwoman have settled down (hey - a shout out to bertha, rattling around up there in the attic), i'm starting to feel good. really good.
also, i'm napping a lot (because ben's a good napper).
also, it's summer, the daytime of my year.
also, ben is now funny and talky and can now occupy himself, given the presence of dirt and a kitchen spoon.
but one factor contributing significantly to my pre-baby happiness is my total lack of obligation to the universe of books and magazines about the care and feeding of a baby. and worse, those promoting the products, the wardrobe, the attitude, the organic nutrition scheme, the eco-friendly neccessitities, the paint colors, the schedule, the sleep plan and the intellectually-stimulating toys new parents must provide in order to validate themselves as breeding human beings. i do not want to pimp my stroller. i will not think about losing the baby weight until i have the baby. and i don't need a quiz to tell me if i'm nesting or neurotic. thank you. i cheerfully extend my middle finger to the magazine aisle and the new parenting section at borders.
it's a newfound freedom, mind you. i read everything the first time, and it made me totally crazy. none of it helped as much as grandma arlie's tentative remark that from all she knew, babies aren't ready for a schedule until they're six months old and until then, just hold them and sleep when they sleep. i would add that it doesn't matter if you're keeping up your fashionista edge (a joke, in my case, anyway) or swaddling your baby in designer organic fibers.
but new parents can't really help themselves, i know that perfectly well. it's terrifying to have a first baby. books and magazines feel neccessary because you don't know what's about to happen. so if you gotta read them, you gotta read them. just take comfort in knowing you won't need them next time. and you'll be happier. and you do not need to buy all that stuff.
6 comments:
you were up & writing at 6am. i'm grinning across town at this.
amen darby! oh, the relief i feel at being able to be a little more laid back about this whole "another baby" thing! i threw a whole bunch of my "what to do with a newborn" books away before i was even pregnant, feeling a little more assured that all i needed was common sense, affection for a little one, prayer, and some coffee :) screw the magazines and books! (but not you, dr. sears -- i love you.)
BLESS GRANDMA ARLIE! There is not better advice than what she gave you. And, bless you, Darby with your enlightened and wise attitude towards having a baby and the nasty advertisers and magazine editors who want to make a buck off of pregnant women in vulnerable emotional states. (not saying you are in the aforementioned state.)
:)
Thanks darby,
Once i come out of the new mom fog it will all be better right?
No we made a love puzzle and it will take us the rest of our lives to figure him out. I usually take the laid back approach to most things but this baby stuff has aroused a new persona.. Thanks for your encouragement maybe I will throw away the parenting magazines....
OH, this was great! You're so funny!
I don't have nearly the verbal skills to say it like you did, but I have to say that I am in total agreement with all of it!
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