hello from blue line. the hipsters are thick as fleas on a dog. i'm too groomed to be here.
have you ever wanted to write, but been frozen. with fear. that you're such. a cliche. even if no one ever, ever reads any of it, you're still just - ugh. ugh.
there's a really snide person in my head, making fun of everything i write. she's so mean! what's her name. she's the opposite of kristy energy. if i'm going to tell her to shut up, she needs a name. she's sitting at the table next to me, talking about san francisco with the thin, bearded guy. i'm going to give her a name she'd hate. she'd like to be named jeanne or matilda. i'm going to name her maxi. partly because i'm looking out the window at the max i. walker sign, but mostly because maxi's laden with awful meanings.
maxi, why don't you go out and smoke a cigarette. you're just such a killjoy. here i am, with a few minutes to myself, and i just want to write a little bit, and you're completely killing the moment with your hypercritical vibe.
so anyway.
i bought a HEAP of vegetables and a silicone (?) steamer thing that fits into a pot, so i can steam the hell out of them and eat them like candy. too bad i'm so lazy. i'd rather toast an english muffin and smear it with jelly. but it's time to address the post-holiday state of affairs. thusly, we commence a broccoli and green bean binge. i would like to do one of those detoxes, but i'm afraid about the no coffee thing. the first day or two would be super awful. yes, maxi, i know that any self-respecting woman should be able to tough out a detox. and may i just say, you're such a hypocrite with the smoking.
huh. it feels good to yell at my inner critic. you should try yelling at yours. name her, or him, and bitch the critic out. so cathartic.
8 comments:
I love this idea. Finslippy just named her inner critic Wanda. Good names. My inner critic's managed in completely silencing me for several months now. Everything I say sucks. According to her. I'd say it's about time I tell her to shut her trap so I can get some writing done.
you tell her.
Mine is named Maeve. Because her name is old and pretentious enough to have turned the corner to intelligent and hip. Yeah, she resides in my mind too.
I do like your reference to the "post-holiday state of affairs." And I totally get the ease of toasting an English muffin rather than steaming vegetables. That's why I'm going to buy myself a party-size veg platter once a week. Raw is the way. ....ope, ope! There's Maeve again.
Vegetable cleanse. Yes. I'm thinking that same thing. Made butternut squash curry and veggie lasagna with spinach and zucchini to make up for all the holiday crap I ate.... Know any good cleanses? I'll do it with you next week... after we binge at Marcus' wedding.
bought a juicer, per the cleanse. yesterday ben and i put: blueberries, grapes, spinach, a banana and 1/3 of a lime into it. yipes. thick and limey. drank a few swallows. definitely need a different recipe. but he had a great time smushing the produce into the juicer.
this post had me giggling over breakfast. hilarious!
you keep talking to kristy and maxi, and they're gonna think you're schizo. watch yourself. ;)
Hey, Late comment here. Hipsters at Blue Line make me giggle. Some times when I'm going there, I groom just a little extra and then I smile sweetly/naively at the "ironic" stares. It's good fun.
You all are far too witty for me, but let me say, I LOVE what you write, Hausfrau! Don't listen to Maxi or whoever she is!
Post a Comment